Position: Social Chair
Call her Celeste. If you’re looking, you can probably find Celeste at Studio 34 with her main betches — but only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you want to sit with her, you’d better be wearing pink, or at least have a pack of Sour Patch Kids as a peace offering. Celeste only eats sour things – it’s part of her latest cleanse. Otherwise, you might catch her starring in that hot new HBO web series that everyone’s talking about, or maybe appearing on the latest episode of Who’s Line is it Anyway.
Celeste is sorry that she’s so busy, but she can’t help it that she’s so popular.
P.s. Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Celeste. If you aren’t raising your hand, your mom will probably be getting a call from Planned Parenthood pretty soon. Sorry.