Hometown: Collingswood, New Jersey
Position: Publicity Chair
Now don’t be alarmed, but in the time that it’s taken you to read this sentence I’ve nearly completed an epic poem in my head with you as the protagonist. Or perhaps you’ll be the antagonist, I haven’t decided that yet because I know better than to judge a book by its cover. Once, I made that mistake.
I was five years old and it was the first book I’d ever read, Tolstoy’s War and Peace. The cover was complicated, a painting of an epic battle, which made me think that the book would also be complicated. I was disappointed when it turned out to be a very simple and quick read. I’ve never gotten through 1,225 pages so fast. Honestly, if you’ve read one piece of Russian Romance Literature you’ve read them all. You can take my word for it because I have read them all.
Anyway, I’ve finished my poem about you. It’s good, perhaps the greatest ever written. You’ll enjoy it, so long as you’re able to understand it.